Broken
by Miki Mae
Summary: Leah has had her heart torn to shreds and her life flipped upside down. With a terrible accident taking her life down the drain, will she find the strength to keep on living? Will she ever see Vampires as anything another than monsters? Anyway... I don't own Twilight of the Vampire Diaries...obviously.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, this is a rather strange set to be following, but bare with me. I really felt bad for Leah after reading and watching the Twilight saga, the girl deserves a break!**

I sighed and rubbed a hand over my forehead. The heat was stifling but I refused to head to the beach, Sam would be there.

I closed my eyes and leaned closer to the electric fan perched on the desk, the object was useless and had no effect on the beading sweat on my forehead. Who would ever have guessed it could be so hot in Forkes. For one, not me, I grew up in this rainy place and never had I expected I would _want_ it to rain.

The clock against the wall ticked softly, it was almost two o' clock. I hope Seth is okay. My chest tightened, why do I even bother worrying about him? He is with _them_, the wolves, nothing can happen to him. If he knew how I uneasy I was he would be mad. Just how many times has he complained that I'm not his mother? I could hardly remember anymore, time seemed to have stopped long ago.

It might have been only yesterday that the Volturi attacked the Cullens.

That child… My stomach cramped, just the thought of that half-breed creature was enough to make me burn with hatred. If it weren't for those stupid vampires everything would have been fine, but Bella had to fall in love, the wolves had to emerge to protect the humans. Why? Couldn't we just leave them alone? Now everything was over.

_Sam_, he left me.

It is because of those fools that I lost the man I love. If he had never become a wolf, surely he wouldn't have imprinted. We could have married, had children.

My hands curled into fists, I slammed them down on the table.

Everything, ruined, over, my hopes and dreams, vanished.

"Leah, I'm back,"

I blinked my eyes and stared at my fists, forced air in and out my lungs. _Relax, don't let him see you like this_. I unfurled my hands and stood up, it sounded like he was in the kitchen. Before heading there I picked up the fan and located it at the back of my neck for a few seconds.

"Hey! Did you make this?"  
So he's found lunch. I smirked, if there was anything Seth loved more than having fun it was food. Not that he had much of a choice, being a wolf meant that food is your best friend. Yet Seth had the same appetite before he turned.

"Pig," I muttered and held my hair atop my head as I left the room. If he starts to eat without me again, I'll make him pay.

I spent all morning on the food and only because it was the first day he wasn't eating lunch with the other wolves. Ever since we changed I haven't been able to have a meal alone with him, today was special.

"Seth..." I began and froze on the spot. Standing in the kitchen I had scrubbed to look like a vampire's sparkling skin was my greatest fear.


	2. Chapter 2

**If you need to criticize me for this, go ahead. I've nothing to lose, and everything to gain. I'm sorry if you're reading this hoping for a quick match up, the man of the hour is a long ways off.**

The wolves, all of them, including the newest pups were crowding my kitchen.

Jacob, Embry, Quil, Jarred, Paul...

Sam stood next to Seth, leaning over the baked vegetables and fresh bread.

"It smells amazing," Dale, a new pup, muttered and flashed me a row of sparkling white teeth. He was barely in puberty.

_You so much as reach for that food, I'll rip out your throat_. That is what I felt like saying – yelling actually – but what I said instead was less impressive and very disappointing. "Lunch is served."

Obviously this is what they had waited to hear, because before I could so much as blink an eyelash they were ripping the bread to shreds as it was passed around.

_Eat_, I willed, _but be ready to die later_. I turned and left all appetite gone, suddenly the air felt quite frigid.

How could you, Seth? My chest pained and I rubbed a hand over it, trying to massage away the hurt. Of everyone, I thought Seth would understand, I was wrong though.

I never wanted this, don't get me wrong, being constantly linked to the man who broke my heart and now my brother...

I sprinted through the door, outside. It was hotter, much, it felt as if I was being scorched alive, sentenced to hell. My bare feet slammed against the ground, my heart pounded. One leap, two, then I was in the trees and pulling my top off. My shorts and underwear followed close behind.

A fallen tree crossed my path, I sprang and when I hit the ground on the other side I landed on four paws. I moved faster, sleeker, further. The world blurred around me, a mixture of black and white merging into confusing grays.

The smell of salt tinged in my nose, the dense trees lessened and I skid to a stop. I planted all four legs far apart and through my head back, my muzzle pointing toward the cloudless sky, a high, anguished howl pierced the air. Again, I screamed my pain the only way I could, now when all the wolves were in human form I could let go of my emotions.

I danced around the rock ledge, tail swishing from side to side, ears pressed back and yelps of anger escaping from between my barred teeth. The birds in the trees stayed in the highest branches and all the land bound creatures moved away a few meters.

_Leah..._

What? I panicked, how did Seth know? Could he hear... I have to change-

_Leah, wait. I just need to talk to you. We're headed to the Cullens, Jacob wants to see Renesme. Are you coming along?_

Renesme, the monster, the Cullens, monsters... _No!_ Not again, they can't make me go there. I did it once for Jacob and that stupid Bella almost killed Seth. The thought gave me pause. Would the vampire hurt Seth again if I don't go with to protect him?

_Leah! I don't need you to protect me!_

_Shut up!_ I snarled.

_Bella won't hurt me, it was an accident last time!_

_I said, 'Shut up'!_ I turned in circles, snarling at the ground. _Fine, I'll go with, but only because you need me._

_I said..._

_Seth! _I warned, if he was going to get touchy about this now I would have to bring up the pudding incident.

_Jeez, calm down, Leah._ He grumbled in my head, _We"ll be leaving in twenty minutes. Get back and get dressed. You might want to have a shower as well._

_Are you saying I stink?_ I demanded. But he was gone before the last word was thought out in my mind. Although the answer would have angered me, it wasn't far off, spending a whole day in this heat could make even the Cullens stink.

Whatever. I would wash up, but not the way Seth meant. Just because I was going to the Cullens didn't mean I had to smell like strawberries and cream. So a bit of ocean air added to my dog-like smell, as Bella put it, wouldn't hurt anyone.

The change took me all of two seconds and then I was plunging through the sky, falling. The wind bit at my skin and when I hit the water it felt like I was slamming into concrete. The cool, salty water enveloped me and sucked me down into the darkness. It was a blissful change from the day's warmth.

Next time, the guys can stay at home and I'll go to the beach. It sounded like a good plan.

**Please let me know what you think so far, this was a radical idea for me and I hope you're enjoying it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hawhawhaw! Sorry for the evil laugh but I feel a twinge of menace coming on... Don't mind me... Just continue reading...**

"Jacob!" A little girl came bounding out the door of the Cullen's home, her bare feet barely touched the floor as she floated down the stairs and into Jacob's arms. Despite appearances, Renesme was only a year old, although she seemed closer to ten.

I took a step backwards and waited patiently. As expected the next person out the house was Bella, followed closely by Edward then Esmé and Carlisle. The welcome committee.

Even since the family came to Forkes, I've despised them, for forcing me to change, for making me lose Sam. But despite that the only vampire I could stand being around was Esmé, not that I treated her any different from the others. Her warm, motherly character had drawn me in, her full love and strong emotions had bound me. She reminded me of Emily. Only she is a vampire and so any friendship or camaraderie was strictly prohibited.

"Jake," Bella crowed and joined her daughter in embracing Billy's son.

The others stood back and smiled contentedly as if a reunion were in place.

Gosh, it made me sick. A vampire and a werewolf. A human and a vampire. My stomach knotted, most of all it was Jacob and Renesme. To imprint on a baby, someone not old enough to tie their own shoes, I wanted to be ill all over them. How did Bella let it? How did Edward?

I'm never going to imprint, it was a decision and a certainty on my part. To be so bound to someone like that was a receipt for hurt. Besides, so far I'm the only female wolf and none of us, not even Billy, can be sure imprinting is possible for me. Born to be alone.

"Come in, please," Esmé was looking directly at me, her soft, kind and welcoming smile in place.

Jacob was already halfway up the stairs and froze in place, the little Renesme hanging over his shoulder and giggling. Seth was just behind Jacob.

I shook my head. "I'll be out back, Seth," I turned and walked away stiffly. I didn't like turning my back to the vampires, I didn't like how they smelled and I _hated_ their kindness. They were supposed to be creatures of darkness, killers, monsters, why did this coven have to be so _human_?

I kicked the ground as I walked, keeping my ears pricked for any sound. Don't be an idiot, Seth, stay safe.

The place hadn't changed at all in the months since I had seen it, every blade of grass and leaf on the trees seemed exactly the same.

I headed to a tree just at the edge of the forest. The shade was cool and dark enough to let me have privacy. I leaned my head back against the base of the trunk. If there was one thing I could congratulate the vampires on it was their amazing home. How they came upon such a beautiful place was beyond me.

"Eat my lunch, then force me to go somewhere I can't stand being, how nice of you, Jacob." I mumbled under my breath and fiddled with a pebble on the ground.

"You did not have to come,"

I jerked up right and snarled at the vampire. Alice, a fairy-like girl. After Esmé this was my preferred vampire. "But I did come," I regretted, "So now what?" I asked sarcastically. Why am I talking to her? Probably because she already saw this happen.

Her face broke into a bright smile, "Things aren't easy when it comes to you wolves. I can't see anything about you,"

This was news to me. Did Jacob and Seth know? Why has no one told me? "Only the wolves?"

"Yes,"

That was good right? I looked away contemplated this, it must mean something surely.

"Listen, I don't know what will happen in your future, but I know one thing for sure. You will not be sitting out here longer, a day will come when you will come inside our home."

I found this difficult to believe but nodded anyway, anything to be left alone.

"Leah?"

I looked at her questioningly.

"What perfume are you wearing? It smells like the ocean."

**Okay, okay... No menace, but it's coming soon! Keeping you on your toes is my job as a fanfictioner! Hope you're following the story so far, I promise it'll be more exciting soon. **

**Please comment on anything you think I should change.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Just want to thank all you amazingly, beautiful people for following _Broken_! I hope to do right by you, so any requests and suggestions are welcome!**

The sky was darkening, the heat of the day subsiding, my stomach growled and I sighed._ I'm so hungry_. I frowned down at the ground, what could be so interesting that Seth and Jacob were still here? The Cullen's home loomed above me like a giant iceberg. With the sun's disappearance a chill was setting in, not that it mattered much as my core body temperature was above average.

"What are you doing in there?" I asked to no one in particular, glaring at the house. I'd only seen the inside of it in the minds of the other wolves, but from what little I had seen I was surprised Jacob wasn't living here with his mate. Who wouldn't want to live here?

I shook my head, stupid. You're making a fool of yourself, just go home, Seth doesn't need you, Jacob doesn't need you.

_Sam doesn't need you,_ a snide voice whispered.

My breath froze in my lungs and my chest pained. I don't deserve this! I don't deserve to be hurt, by Sam, by anyone, not even myself. Yet there isn't much I can do about it, death isn't an option, running away would be just as useless. Leaving Seth would be worse than dying. Imprinting is impossible and stopping my changes...well, maybe I could do that.

If I stop changing maybe I can grow old and forget, I also won't have to hear Sam's sappy thoughts about Emily every time I changed.

Yes, that's an option. I'll desert my very reason for living and become solely Seth's caretaker, get a job, maybe study something I _want_ to do. Perhaps I'll travel the world and learn a new language.

I smiled, it sounded too good to be true.

"Yo, Leah," I looked up at Jacob whose head was stuck out a window. "You want some grub? Esme's making Seth and I some macaroni."

My stomach growled, "No, I'm not hungry." I looked away, I'm starved because you ate my lunch, you idiot! "I think I'll head home, let Seth know, will you?"

He blinked and frowned, "Are you... sure, okay, whatever." he opened his mouth as if he was going to say something else but he snapped it closed. I heard a low murmured from behind him. "By the way, the blood sucker says your thoughts aren't on a bad track, whatever that means."

So Edward could read my thoughts while Alice could not see my future, so not a wolf thing after all. I mental snarled at the vampire, _stay out of my head and I won't kill you_.

I heard the faint laughter and Jacob disappeared.

Home, I'll slap together a sandwich and check on Billy before I take a late border check. If Sam wasn't going to mess with the Cullen's staying then fine, but the others should stay away. If they aren't protected through the bond of an imprint I'll rip them to shreds. Hello Buffy-Mode.

It was too bad a stake wouldn't work, I'd like to sink one of those into a cold skinned monster and see what happens, unfortunately the Cullens had set that theory to rest, for the time being.

I sauntered into the trees, ran a few feet before undressing and folding my clothes. The change came naturally and I was immediately bombarded with thoughts, it would seem Paul had already started the perimeter check with Quill. My jaws snapped over my clothes and I began to weave around fallen logs and craggy old bushes.

_Leah, Jake is at the Cullens?_ Quill asked.

_With Seth_, I added because he was my only real concern. All I really had on my mind though, was how thankful Sam wasn't on patrol at the moment.

_I found new scents at the east border, probably vampire. _

_We're trailing it at the moment, but we'll need you later. Have something to eat first._ Paul suggested amused, clearly feeling my hunger.

_I'll check on Billy as well_- my thoughts were interrupted by the image in Paul's mind. So that is why Sam wasn't paroling, he and Emily were with Billy. _Never mind, I'll be there in ten._

The rest of the run seemed to blur by and I can hardly remember what was happening in Paul and Quill's heads, in reality I didn't care. I was suffering my own delusional thoughts.

**Sappy fluff, I know... but I'm a girl, and girls like these things. Or maybe its just me. In that case, feel free to criticize and throw some suggestions at me. Happy Reviewing!**


	5. Chapter 5

_The scent has picked up._

_We're gaining on them._

_Them, more than one?_

_Yes, two or three, maybe more depending on their origins, it might be a stray group or Volturi._

_Volturi..._

_If it is we'll need to let Jake know, the only reason they'd be here is to mess with Renesme._

_What about the small one?_

_Alice, might be her too._

_I'll meet you at the western edge, I'm coming from the beach. We might be able to corner them._

_It stopped!_

_Gone!_

_What? What happened? You lost them?_

_Damn, they turned around._

_We've been played for fools!_

_They're headed towards me? I'll meet them head on, come up on rear._

_No, wait! Leah!_

_Stop it! Leah, this is suicide!_

_You can't take on more than one alone! Wait for us!_

_Leah! Stop!_

_Shut up, shutupshutup_! I tried tuning them out. I wasn't weak, I could at least get one of them before they overpower me, it should give the others enough time to show up and get the rest. The worst that would happen is a few broken bones, but that is little to sacrifice in the way of vampire slaying.

_What the hell!_

_Leah! I'm going to get Sam. Paul get to her, now!_

_Sam_...My mind retracted for a moment, dwindled, mourned. A distraction. I didn't need this now, did they _want_ me to die? I need to get my mind out the gutter.

I shook my large head, the rest of my fur rippled with the movement as if I was shaking off water from my coat.

The scent slipped past me.

_I have them!_

I bounded harder, faster. The scent grew, I was practically on top of them. A howl escaped from my muzzle and I caught a flash of blonde. I would know that hair anywhere, anger filled my body. It was the Volturi after all, stupid creatures, to send their rabbits out to face the wolves.

_You're sure? It's them?_

The question was stupid so I didn't answer it, he already knew I was sure. Two voices joined, Sam and Paul.

Immediately my chest began to pain and my lope staggered, I slammed into a tree but regained my balance before I could go down. Howls filled the air and more voices materialized in my head. Everyone except Jacob and Seth were here, which didn't surprise me Jake's first priority would be his mate.

The blonde flashed again. I was catching up!

_Leah, stop!_ It was Sam. He was the head of our pack and I had to obey him, even if I hated to do so.

Yet he wasn't the reason I stumbled and fell to the ground. No, every cell of my body was in pain, a stabbing, throbbing pain that could only mean I was in hell. My body squirmed and I changed, my muscles contracting on bone making the pain intensify. It was too much and my body began to flash in and out of wolf form, agony a never-ending cycle.

_Lea-_

_What-_

_There-_

_Its-_

With constantly changing I only caught a few words between the agonizing changes. Was this what Jane was capable of? I had known she had some strange ability to leave one in pain, but I hadn't thought it would be so excruciating. I was going to kill this monster.

I couldn't stop the change, like my body had its own mind and that mind was undergoing a seizure. I'm not sure when the screaming started, but I became aware of it only when it stopped.

"Leah? Leah! Look at me!" the voice didn't sound right and I couldn't see anything through the darkness.

"Sam," there was silence, "Oh, God, look at her..."

"Don't,"

"We have to get her back,"

"Get to Billy, we need the doctor,"

"I don't think-"

"Just do it. And make sure to keep Seth away."

**So, yeah. Sorry. This is where things get serious...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi! I am so sorry that I made you wait! Please bear with me, school is horrid! Thanks for reading!**

"I don't know how she is alive at the moment." A voice was saying.

"Can you... fix her?" Another voice.

"I don't think it is possible, Billy."

There was a chorus of snarls and yelps.

"She's been caught between her human and wolf form. Right now the only thing that I can do is give her morphine for the pain. As far as you've told me, nothing like this has ever happened before, so I have nothing to work from. But my training tells me that she won't get better. Yet perhaps with your extraordinary healing abilities her body may heal itself with time."

"May?"

"Yes, personally I don't see how she will be able to survive, this is an extraordinary transformation. Even if her body heals itself, she'll suffer, her muscles are set in between her forms and she'll likely not be able to change fully ever again. She may even keep some of her wolf properties in human form: eye sight, hearing, bone dis-figuration. There are many possibilities."

"But-"

"I'm sorry. Billy, I've done all I can for now, we need to wait. I've set what bones I could. I'll come back every evening to check on her but for the time being I'm going to leave this with you. It is a bottle of morphine, you need to give her a dose in the morning, I'll issue her a dose in the evenings. Jacob, what is it?"

"Maybe, maybe we should consider-"

"No!"  
"Seth..."  
"She'd rather die than...than be one of them. She hates them, Jake, _hates_."

Silence filled the air.

"I'll go now, Sam, I trust you will keep me informed of her condition?"  
"Of course,"

"Thank you, Carlisle, I know it is inconvenient, you were on duty at the hospital."

"It is okay, Billy, I consider the wolves a part of the family. You've fought by our side and almost died there too, whatever you make of it, I consider you family."

**I know, I know... I'm terrible! This chapter was sooo short. I'll be sure to post another!**


	7. Chapter 7

**As promised, another chapter! Please enjoy and R&R!**

It was strange, to see things again. Granted everything was fuzzy and it looked like the world was dragged under a train, but I was seeing something other than darkness now so it was an improvement.

As it turned out all my senses where heightened, smell, taste, sound. The only things that were truly bothersome was that I couldn't move, muscles like grated cheese melted over my bones, there was no structure or function to them.

"They'll heal." Carlisle was saying, every word he said to me was a whisper and although I found it hard to be so close to him I was grateful for his presence. Unlike the wolves who were loud and rowdy, the vampire was quiet and gentle. "I'll need to put you on a better drip. You're used to eating a lot, so this sudden change can hamper the healing process. We need to get as much nutrients in you as possible."

Okay, this was getting bad. Doctor Cullen was a white blob with my blurred vision but even so I could sense the compassion and humility in his expression. He was truly worried about me. It made me feel like a jerk and an utter idiot.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what his face looked like, I couldn't. All the thoughts in my head seemed to have merged and now it was a pile of goo, faces, voices, memories were a little confusing. The only face I have been able to recall is Seth's. Smiling, crying, laughing, serious, all the images of my little brother pulling faces at me.

A smile tugged at my lips, if there was anything that would bring me through this it would be the urgency to hear him laugh again. It was my duty as the big sister to worry, I would make sure Seth never had to worry again, if it was the last thing I did.

I heard the doctor stand, the rustle of clothing, he walked away then came back. I couldn't feel the rest of my body yet, but I was certain he was giving me an injection. I wanted to thank him, apologize too, but I couldn't. When I can talk. I'll say it then.

"Leah, I'm heading out. Jacob wanted to bring Renesme to see you, I hope you're okay with that, he seems quite determined."

I opened my eyes and looked at the white blob. I didn't say it but I'm sure my face did because the doctor started laughing.

"I know, but he is more a child than Renesme, what Jacob wants Jacob gets." He moved away from the bed, I heard him putting away his instruments. "If it will make you feel better, I'll send Seth in as well, he might keep the two of them grounded."

I blinked rapidly.

"No? All right then, I'll see you tomorrow, Leah. Rest well," And just like that he was gone, although I heard him speaking outside for a moment to Billy and Charlie.

It was strange, when had Charlie get here? One thing was clear though, my mind must be clearing up, because for once I could distinguish a voice as belonging to one person. Then again it might just be my improved hearing.

_"You might never be able to change,"_ The doctor had said.

Did that mean I'd get to grow old, like a human? It was what I wanted after all, only I hadn't expected it to happen so suddenly. I'd planned to at least have one last chase.

_Leah... I'm sorry._

Huh? I blinked and strained my eyes, was someone in the room? I couldn't make out any shapes it was frustrating. Maybe someone was outside the house and I was only catching part of the conversation. The tension eased from my body and I allowed my eyes to drift around the room.

Odd, I hadn't noticed before, although everything was blurred there was no colour.

Black and white. Had it been this way since I regained my sight?

I didn't remember all too clearly, Cullen had been a white blob but I had been sure that was because of how pale he was. Only, now that I thought about it, he must have worn casual clothes, he wouldn't do a house call in his coat. Then why hadn't I seen any colour?

My heart slammed into my chest, could it be?

No!

The world seemed to shrink in around me. When in wolf form I saw in only black and white, and now...

No! I'm just too tired to make out colour, that is it. If I rest everything will return to normal.


	8. Chapter 8

**I know, I know, I'm horrible! Sorry for the late update, school is horrid at the moment and I barely have time to breathe. I will try to update more regularly.**

**Thanks for all the support, I love that so many of you are following. Makes a girl wanna cry :3 **

**Hence forth... read on!**

"Nessie, you remember Leah, right?"

That numskull actually came, I didn't know if I was more furious or happy with it.

He brought his mate. Maybe it was better that I couldn't move, I've had a few very nasty things to say to the brat ever since her birth. But could I really tell this child that she was a monster? Tell a baby that has only been on earth for a year that she was demon spurn? Yes, it was better I couldn't speak, or see for that matter.

A brush of coolness settled over my skin. It felt normal, as if a human were patting my cheek but there was a slightly cooler tinge to it as if she'd just come in from a walk outside. She was certainly half a vampire. It felt nice though, having the crazy heat of a wolf made this contact precious. Could this be one of the reason's Jacob liked the girl? It was certainly appealing, not that it outweighed the vampire part though.

The little hand moved and settled on my forehead. "Leah... yes,"

Why? I couldn't see her but I knew a cutie when I heard one, she sounded like any other child on the reservation. That tell-tale softness and innocence, it was all I could do not to discard the blood sucking.

"Look," she murmured.

_I was standing outside, I could see myself leaning against a tree, staring into the trees. Seth came up to me and I ruffled his hair, laughed._

_I was standing next to Jacob, eyes hard, my mouth set in a line and fists tucked against my sides._

_I was screaming and stomping my feet in the woods, tears streaking my cheeks._

_My wolf stared back at me, large and furry, a mountain next to the squirrels in the trees. My tongue hanging out, my legs shaking from running to keep up with Jacob._

_Me turning my back on Esmé and walking away._

_My wolf jumping up and down, trying to capture fireflies in my jaws._

_Me laughing and clutching my sides as Jacob struggled to untangle himself from sea weed._

"Leah," she whispered and removed her hand from my cheek.

It was only then that I realised that my cheeks were wet, I was crying. I could see it now, Jacob's ugly face, the motherly concern in Esme's eyes. Faces I was sure I had forgotten, times I didn't remember, things I never did.

It was a beautiful gift.

"I thought she might be able to cheer you up." Jacob was saying, his hand patted my head and kissed my forehead. "Ness has a way of seeing people,"

I turned my eyes towards where they were, a small light blob and a slightly darker big one. At that moment I didn't care if everything was black and white, I'd just seen colour in a way I never had before, it was amazing. Was that how they all saw? The vampires...

My lips moved slightly, no sound emerged.

"Its okay, Leah," the girl whispered and her hand rested on my cheek again.

Was she going to show me something else? I'd take anything, any colour, any person, any time as long as I could _see_.

"You'll get better," her hand began to move away and I panicked, tears gathered in my eyes again. "Sure,"

Then there he was, Sam, his arms wrapped around Emily, they were talking to the pack and Charlie was eating a doughnut, his face covered in white powder. There were all of them, my family. Alive, bright, colourful, my chest hurt and I had to wonder if the vampires ever had such homely moments.

As if she knew my thoughts, she showed me the vampires next. The Cullens standing around a piano, Edward's fingers moving over the ivory keys, Esmé and Carlisle locked in each others arms. Jacob and Seth were crowding close to Bella, grinning from ear to ear. Charlie looked awkward.

When was this? I wondered, it seemed to natural.

Renesme removed her hand. I felt a deep sense of loss, I never expected I'd saying this.

I didn't want the bloodsucker to leave.

**Ne? Cute, right? I may be biased, but I'm liking this story so far! Please R&R! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Dearest readers... I regret to write this... It makes me sad, but in order to have a successful story we need a bit more drama.**

**(Cringes) Don't hate me, we need Leah to move on and this was the only way that came to mind.**

**Try to enjoy it... although, I'm sure you won't.**

"Wiggle your fingers for me, good, your toes, brilliant. You're improving," Carlisle stepped away from me, his form was clearer, I could tell the difference between blob and figure now. "Let's see if you can sit up, here I'll help."

He easily set me up against my pillows and rearranged the blankets over my legs.

"Okay, I'll just check a few more things and then we'll be done for the day."

I nodded, yesterday was much the same, pulse, breathe, ears, eyes, questions. I could do that too now, talk, granted it wasn't much but at least I could make sound.

"Everything seems to be looking up." He gently squeezed my shoulder.

"Doc...morphine,"

Carlisle blinked at me and shook his head. "Sorry, Leah, I had to lower your dosage, I didn't want to run the risk of an addiction."

"Please...pain," I had pondered this the whole night, ever since I had begun feeling pain again I was able to move to an extent. As I had assumed, the vampire had cut back the pain medication, what I needed to know was why. He knew as well as I did that addiction was the last thing to worry about.

He sighed, "I can't, you need to face a certain extent of the pain, otherwise you'll rely on the medication too much and when you start moving around the pain might cripple you. You need to understand where it hurts so I can help you heal those areas."

I looked away, it made sense but it sucked nonetheless. I curled my hands, if only I had the strength to curl into a ball and sob. "Head...aches,"

"Your head? When did it start?"

I shrugged, every time I opened my eyes and my vision was clearer my head hurt worse. Was my mind fighting sight?

The doctor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what to tell you, Leah. I can't give you any more medication than you're already taking."

Just knock me out. Make me sleep for a while, I can't sleep at night anymore. The darkness was as bright as sunlight, the room too hot even though the snow seemed to be falling outside.

Snow? That isn't possible. "Date?" I asked the vampire. How much time had passed?

"You need to get some rest for now, I'll have Renesme bring a newspaper with her tomorrow. She can practice her reading and you'll be able to catch up on the time."

It sounded good, the child had grown on me, but why was he avoiding my question? I wanted to argue but that required too much effort, effort that I didn't have. "'Kay," because this was the only response that worked under the circumstances.

He cocked his head. "Not going to fight me today?"

I shrugged.

"You must be tired, do you want me to help you lie down again?" he laughed, "No need to glare, at least you're regaining your personality. I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ness?"

"Of course, I'll bring her, she'd be delighted to visit you. She's been pestering Jacob non stop,"

"Carlisle?" The voice floated from the doorway.

"Sam, its good to see you. How is Emily doing?"

Sam looked from the doctor to me, I turned my head and closed my eyes. If I can't see him, he can't see me.

"She's better, thank you for your help."

"No, it is my pleasure, I'm glad. Rest up, Leah, Renesme will demand your full attention tomorrow. Sam, may I speak with you privately?"

"Yes,"

The door clicked closed and I sighed, blissful loneliness.

I should be used to this though, Emily came to visit me regularly she would wash my face and sponge cream into my skin. She was looking after me as we used to as kids, only this time I couldn't look at her. The scar on her face made me wistful where it should have angered me. It was Sam's mark. I would gladly have bared the marks if it meant I could have Sam back, but neither was possible.

After she had washed me, she would talk, for hours, about food and weather and useless gossip among the wolves. Then she would leave. Seth would say his good nights and I would be left all alone.

Waiting, waiting, for morning to come and the Cullen's to stop by. Endure the probing and testing and then I would be alone again until someone decided to check that I was still breathing.

"They'll be sad," Renesme had said the last time she visited, she'd drawn a picture of a gray wolf and a little girl who was supposed to be me and her. "If you go away,"

Really, would they?

"I'll be sad," she had patted my cheek, "I want to look just like you."

"Why?" Why would she want to look like me when she could look like anyone in her vampire family?

"They all think you're pretty, I want to be pretty too. I want to be a wolf,"

No, you don't. You don't want to an animal, you don't want everyone to see into your mind, you don't want this. You should be happy with having Jake, he's already most of that for you, you don't have to be that way too.

I sighed, the girl had no idea what she was saying. Perhaps she shouldn't come visit me tomorrow, yet I really wanted to hear her voice again. I'm selfish.

My eyes snapped open and I squinted at the wall, colour. It was only a flash but I'm sure it was there.

"Come in," I mumbled. He didn't have to knock, I could smell him, I could hear the rustle of his clothes and a part of my mind, the part that was permanently wolf now, could sense my awareness of loyalty to my leader.

The door creaked and the scent filled the room, I had to hold my breath.

"Leah, Carlisle says you're improving,"

I know that, idiot, he speaks to me too. I gritted my teeth and scowled at my grey surroundings.

"I need to talk to you,"

I got that. I turned my head to face him. Would he stop beating around the bush and say it already?

"I'm sorry,"

That was not what I was expecting, my jaw dropped in wonder. What the hell! Why was he apologizing? I was sure that now I was coherent he would scorch my ass with a line of _'Are you stupid_'. Because that is what I deserved, for heading after the vampires with no back up.

He looked away, "I'm sorry," he stepped closer, "You and Seth are going to stay at the Ristfot reservation until things are cleaned up."

So that's why.

He wasn't being compassionate for my pain, he wasn't apologizing for dropping me so suddenly to marry my cousin, he wasn't even saying this because he never came to check up on me. No, he was sending me away. Throwing out the trash.

My lips tightened. Why had I ever loved him? At that moment I wanted to kill him, bath in his bloody remains.

Anger is a stupid word, what I felt was much worse.

"Die," I muttered, my hands clutching at the blanket, I needed a tie to keep from doing something I might regret later. "Die," I repeated quietly.

"It can't be helped-"

"Die!" I cried, my throat aching at the improvement.

"Leah-"

"Its your fault!" I screamed, clenching my eyes closed. All of it!

It. Was. His. Fault!

"Die! Die! Die!"

"Leah-!"

My eyes snapped open and I snarled at him, the grey of my gaze spiraling, unfocused and dizzying. "Go die! I hate you!" I screeched.

There was a rush of sound and then the pack was there, staring between Sam and me, confused, concerned.

"I hate you! I HATE YOU!" I clutched at my head, the headache was piercing, tears pricked my eyes. "Get out! Right now!"

"Sam, I think-" Seth began but he stopped when Sam looked at him, the authority of the pack leader was too strong.

"Leah, you _will _listen to me."Sam commanded.

I whimpered, the urge to obey was hell, he was hell. I stared at him through tears, my fury blazing in their depths. "I h-hate y-you..." I stumbled over the words, fighting to release myself from his command.

The pack was staring at the ground, tensed. Seth had tears streaking from his eyes.

"I don't care. You'll do what I say, do you understand?"

He doesn't care...

Agony ripped through my head and I began to scream, clutching at my head.

My body bowed and my toes curled.

A million different knives stabbed at my head.

In the midst of the assault I nearly didn't notice my heart shattering further.

"Leah..." Seth whimpered and shuffled not able to move toward me.

I hate him! I HATE HIM!

My stomach clenched and the little Carlisle had given me to eat rose up my throat. As soon as the acid hit my tongue, I curled over and fell from the bed, throwing up.

All my muscles contracted around bone. I hadn't felt this sensation since my first phase.

It was happening again, but my body couldn't make up what it was doing.

My vision flickered, colour, black and white. My nails elongated and my senses went on haywire – loud, soft.

I clutched at my head, the agony was spreading. The claws dug into my skin, tore, cut.

"...hate you..." I managed to whimper before falling onto my face, still fighting the phase.

"Leah! Leah!"

"Emily-"

"What happened?" She demanded, her voice high. "Let go of me! Leah! Le-le! Help her! Don't just stand there! Do something... Paul, Embry, Jarred... why aren't you doing anything! Sam, let go-"

"Don't mind me, you stupid mutts."

"What? Why are you here?"

"I actually came here to see Charlie but I see now. Is this how you look after someone in pain? Be glad Renesme is waiting for me outside, otherwise I'd slaughter you all."

"Rosalie, don't-"

"Shut up, mutt." I was floating on a cool cloud but the pain didn't subside. "I've always despised you, now I see I have reason to. It's disappointing really, Jacob gave me hope that you may be respectable, his efforts were wasted. I'll be leaving now, are you ready, Leah? Yes? Then let's leave."

I couldn't think beyond the pain in my head. What was going on?

**So, yes. Do you hate me? Please don't, I promise to make her happy again!**

**Please R&R?**

**Then just wanted to let you know, I can't promise quick updates. A play I wrote for school was accepted and so I'll have extra on my plate with directing... Be patient, I'll update as much and as soon as possible!**

**All my love and hugs**

**Miki**


	10. Chapter 10

It was dark, well, not really dark, I could still see as if the lights were on but the headache was at least gone. I'm not sure where the blonde vampire had carted me off to but I was grateful. The further I was away from Sam, the better.

He doesn't care...

I sighed, I know he didn't love me, after all he had Emily but to say he didn't care was...harsh. I had thought he at least cared about me as the cousin of his wife or as a fellow wolf. I'd been screaming that I hate him, true, yet that didn't give him a reason to tell me he didn't care. Maybe I was being irrational, anger makes you say things you don't mean sometimes.

Sam doesn't get angry though, not really, he is cool-headed, earth-bound. And he doesn't care.

A bright white square flickered in the corner of the room, even though it was on mute I could tell it was a television, the soft electrical hum gave it away. A vampire was watching it, I'm not sure which one though, it wasn't Renesme, she had a different scent than the others.

I stared at the flickering light. What was it watching? I'm not much of a TV watcher, it had never really appealed to me. What kind of programme would a vampire watch? I frowned, not cooking, surely not animal planet or fashion, unless it was Alice. Come to think about it, the Cullens had amazing style, they always looked like they stepped from a photo shoot. So maybe they _did_ watch fashion. Strangely I wouldn't be surprised.

How about Buffy or Dracula? Do they watch things like that and laugh? I would, laugh that is. I almost laughed now, my lips twitched. I could imagine Esmé watching Dracula while chopping up garlic for the pasta she was making for Charlie. It was too good.

A vampire is a vampire is a vampire. I thought and chuckled.

Ouch, my throat was in pain. A little too much screaming for one day it would seem. Would the doctor give me something for my throat? Not morphine or anything like that, I already knew he would withhold such but maybe a Strepsel or a some throat spray. Heck, even a glass of milk would work, just something to sooth the rawness, sugar coat the pain a little.

The good thing was my head had cleared up and I'm not sure if it was the lack of light but I think my vision was no longer blurred. Of course there still wasn't colour, grey was my favoured sight.

"Oh good, you're awake,"

I turned to see Carlisle entering the room, yes, my sight was better. I could see the smoothness of his skin, the flecks of gold in his eyes. "Doc,"

"Emmett, Rose needs you," The head of the family said.

From out of nowhere he large, muscular vampire seemed to appear and the TV shut off. Where had he been? I hadn't seen him. He flashed me a smile and left me alone with the doctor.

"I'm very sorry for what happened, Leah, I believe if I had only given you something for your headache I might have prevented this mess."

Well pack me up and send me to Timbuktu! This was the kind of response that a father would give me. I wanted to hug him, to cry on his shoulder, to shake him and demand why.

"We tend to do things sometimes when our judgement is replaced by pain, I apologize profusely. If you wish I can speak to Sam and explain."

I looked at him and marvelled at why I had ever hated him. Doctor Carlisle Cullen was a master piece, a chivalrous knight plucked from the pages of a historical novel, I wanted to adopt him.

"Doc, please," I shook my head. "The last thing I want now is to face what happened." I sounded like a frog but he seemed to know what I was saying so I carried on. "We can deal with that later, now I just want to be able to walk again."

"Well, then you're in luck." He smiled at me, a true smile, "Your muscles seem to be progressing well, by this rate you'll be able to walk in two days, not well at first, but with practice you will be fine."

"Good news," now that my lecture was done, I was going to stick with short answers, I still wanted that glass of milk.

"How is your head? You cut pretty deep but thankfully the gashes were short and you didn't need stitches so if it does scar it will hardly be noticed."

This warm feeling, it was happiness. "Thanks, good,"

"Brilliant, then I'll let Renesme visit, I did promise you that she would read for you and she's been looking forward to it."  
"I may come in?" The small voice called from behind the door.

"Yes, Leah is waiting for you," Carlisle stepped back and winked at me. "She's very enthusiastic,"

The girl flew through the door and launched herself at me. I found myself locked in the same embrace that I'd seen Jacob receive only days ago.

"Happy birthday!" She sang and kissed my cheek.

I froze, huh? But...no, its only been a few days, my birthday is in a month's time. I looked at Carlisle questioningly.

"You have been unaware for some time now, it is why I did not let on the date. Renesme wanted to surprise you and I thought it would be kinder to find out in this way."

"We don't want you to worry," Renesme whispered and jumped up, spun in circles. "Aunt Alice helped me make a cake, it's as pretty as you."

I guess this is a nicer way to find out, I blinked and sighed. A vampire baked me a cake – this couldn't end well.

"Don't worry," Carlisle laughed, "It is edible, no blood or strange ingredients. Alice found it on the internet."

That's better, I think. I forced a smile. "Thanks, Ness,"

Her face beamed with joy. "It was so much fun! And I ate some of the icing, it's going to be so yummy. I can't wait! You like chocolate right?"

I almost forgot, the child could eat human food and drink blood, strangely this comforted me. The awkwardness of being the only person in a house that eats cake might have finished me off. "Yes,"

"Good! There's chocolate sponge, chocolate chips and chocolate icing. Chocolate is yummy, Momma said I shouldn't eat to much though. But Jacob says I can have as much as I want because I can't get sick from it. Momma can't eat chocolate though, she gets sick when she eats it, so does aunty Alice and aunty Rose. Maybe Momma is worried I'll get sick too. You don't get sick from chocolate, right? Jacob said you wouldn't, but he lies sometimes. Like when he said I'd like broccoli, that stuff is bad."

Yes, unquestionably a child, the babbling was cute though. The wolves usually didn't talk much, except Seth and Jake, the rest are permanently in sullen mode. It's good to talk, not that I take my advice.

"Come," she gestured for me to follow her.

"Why don't you bring the cake here?" Carlisle suggested and the girl nodded before skipping away. He turned to me, "How are your eyes, would you like me to switch on the light?"

"They cleared. Please," I wanted to see if the headaches would start again, how much light could my eyes take?

"You shouldn't be eating yet, considering the circumstances I should put you on a drip." He muttered as he headed to the wall.

I cringed at the words. "Chocolate sounds good though,"

Carlisle laughed heartily, "I hope you don't mind, but I'm curious myself how your body will react."

Honest to a fault, I smirked and sighed, the vampire was looking better by the second, I may actually start liking him. Like a vampire, the thought was ridiculous, but I had already befriended a half breed so what could stop the dominoes from falling now?

"Of course if you aren't up to it, I can have Jacob eat it with her."

A small part of me shied from this information. I couldn't remember Jake being there when I snapped but it was possible he had just stood there and watched, I was pretty far gone at the time. I didn't want to know, if he had been there he should easily have been able to defy Sam and help me, he was lucky that way.

"Ready?" A click sounded and bright light flooded the room.

**Um...don't really have anything to say for my A/N, other than please review... A few words... One word? Please?**


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